Sooo

Yeah How goes?

Little bit strange to be sitting here in austria. Well, just to be sitting here. Its like, a feeling.

Did you know (you being the invisible audience that I have magically captured the interest of, though after what, two months? of not posting, I can see the floating programs and that rickety chair in the corner with the loose spring still slightly wobbling.) That I have almost died three times?

Ones I almost choked to death, once I almost burned to death and another ... I think I almost bled to death but Im not sure, I will have to check with my mother.

Ive been in the hospital quite a bit. For breaking things or swallowing things or puking too much, or being there for my mom when her ex convinced her she was crazy, or when he had broken her arm again, or pushed her down the stairs, or punched her. Or, when she decided that she was too fat and starved herself until under 100 pounds. That was his fault to. He had an idea of her that she had to fit herself in.

Dont know why Im writing this. Writing for the sake of writing I guess.

One day I started writing a story, with no plan or anything. Now that story is over 30 pages. I just kept writing. It was just after I had moved host families but was still in the same class with my host sister.

Usually with stories I get stuck and give up after 3 pages. so hopefully this one will be published, and I will be critized like that kid who wrote aragon. I havent even read the stupid book. But I knw lots of people dont like it, and dont like him for getting it published. Its not his fault his parents owned a publishing company, give the kid a break, he worked hard.

Alicia is in an unconcentrated mood.

She bought a candle at the 75 cent shop, it smells like apple, but not when its burning. It has burned quickly too.

Aaron is sending alicia songs. One of them had cats meowing. That was a little komisch.

They cook mashed potatoes with nutmeg here. muskatnuss. It tastes a little different, but its good. They did that in my last host family as well. But they made insta-potatoes. Which tasted like crap.

Cailin has gone back to Australia, along with Ellie. I have to go and see them within 5 years. That sounds sort of realistic right? 5 years to get enough money to go? But then again I have 2 years of highschool, one year of college and two years of university in that span. I dont think I will have enough money. Ill make it work eventually.

I had a nap today. I remember being young, but I dont remember taking naps. Then I remember being a bit older, and being tired, and my mom telling me to take a nap, and me informing her that I cant sleep in the daytime.

Thats seemed to change since I have got to Austria. I think its because you are genuinly tired. That isnt spelt right. genuinely. There. I think. Maybe.

I just noticed that I threw my shirt on inside out. No matter, my host brother always says that. I didnt go to school in this shirt, and my shirt was the right way out at school, and no one really cares here at home what I am wearing.