She's so..

Did I forget about the simple rule of life
You pay a price for all your choices
Well I`ve learned my lesson
Looking from the other side

Guy who sings the song is named Tobias Regner.

Go figure.

Alicia's bank card didnt work again today.

But she emailed Ingrid, and she said,

that it was ok and could be late.

So basically Rotary is gunna pay it for me,

And then go "Hey, Alicia, you gotta pay us back"

every five minutes.

BUT I STILL GET TO GO.

I thought that I was through

Don't know who's fooling who cause

Shes, She's so unforgettable

She's so unerasable

It kills me slowly not to be around her

So, She's so unforgivable

And if I never understood

It hits me now

She's so damn good

I had a daydream.

In it, I owned a green jeep,

Was camping, with my mom and her girlfriend

Yah, she had a girlfriend,

Oh, and Cass and my boyfriend.

You dont need to know who that was.

I had a party with 50 people,
got engaged,
got pulled over by the cops,
(For having my music too loud.)

And someone asked me to sleep with him,

which made me laugh.

I talk myself into that bullshit all the time

At least it made me so much wiser

I tell my friends I really got her off my mind

Then I told my mom I was,

engaged and not a virgin.

Just like, a passing comment.

And she was like "uh, what?!"

Then I explained to her,

That when my grandmother took me,

to Austria for a vacation,

I snuck out, leaving her sleeping,

in my host families house,

And ran into a friend..

Yeahhh....

Did I say that I was through?

Don't know who's fooling who cause

She's so unforgettable

She's so unerasable

It kills me slowly not to be around her

She's so unforgivable

And if I never understood

It hits me now

She's so damn good

Other then that, I get to pay 1230€

But my bank card isnt working

I also missed my german lesson today

Because she made it an hour earlier.

And didnt tell me.

Then blamed it on me that I had a free hour

the hour before the class, so she couldnt find me,

Though in the break she was talking to my friend,

sitting right fucking beside me,

and could of told me then.

Wish what I feel

Could be for real

Not just a one way cry

That don't seem to fly

I was going to make a post totally in German.

But then I thought of Linds.

So I figured Id be nice.

Though she thinks I have the mindset,

Of an undersexed teenaged boy.

I dont hold it against her.

She's so unforgettable

She's so unerasable

It kills me slowly not to be around her

She's so unforgivable

And if I never understood

It hits me now Shes

She's so damn good

So this lady that goes on my bus every once in a while talked to me.
She said "wow, its hot," and took off her toque. (Its pronounced tuuk)
Then she asked me to set the time on her cellphone cause she didnt understand it.
Well, I dont really understand cellphone german either, but I knew enough from
fiddling around on my sisters and looking at the pictures.
So I set it for her.
Then she started talking about the mountains and snow.
But she said mountain instead of berg.
So I knew she spoke english.
So I interupted asking, and we started talking in english.
I think she is from like, Jamaica.
Nice lady.

Bank Card wasnt working today.
I tried it 3 times. Then it was like "sorry, no more trying"
Said I had the wrong pincode.
I know my pincode.
And I need to pay my skicamp
By tomorrow!.


Shitshitshitshit

Weekend.

Hello? Is anyone there? Can anyone hear me? Can anyone feel me? Am I even here? Im feeling like Im floating. And not in that good, on a light cloud way. On that weird sinking gravity confusing cloud way. It could be the fact that my life is basically a rollercoaster right now, and I have only slept 3 hours, and have school tomorrow. I really wish I was Chels, she doesnt have to go to school, she just lounges on the Thai beaches.
I was so excited about Eurotour, and I might not be able to go, because of the stupid Visa, which I didnt get around to obtaining. Well, I tried, back in December, and then I forgot about it after the school break ended. Then I remembered and I have everything I need for it, but I have to go with my councellor, and he is like, not returning my calls. But if I dont have it
by March 15th the latest, I might not be able to go. Fuck.
I also have to email my mom and ask her to fax me some thing saying from her that I am allowed going, as we are going to a whole lot of different countries. Im going to Spain and Holland and Cheq. and Italy and the whole tour starts about a half hour away from where I live. Which means I dont have to take a 4 hour train with pent up nerves of seeing everyone again. And I can go early, because its not far. Or I could sleep in and go late.
We went to Zankl yesterday and today. My host sister was a bit sad because the younger one didnt show up, and the older one did, and was being a bit of an ass. Though no one seemed to remember him being an ass before, I do. It was funny for me. But he was still hitting on me and stuff, so thats always fun. Then (this was saturday) we went home and my other host sisters best friend and her were like, a bit on edge, so the friend hung out with me and the younger host sister and they fell asleep at 2 or so. Alicia did not have that luxury.
She fell asleep at 3.30 and woke up at about 5 because she was cold. So she ran upstairs, grabbed her blanket and ran back down. We all slept on the same couch, three of us girls. Then Alicia fell back asleep about 7, and we woke up at 8 and had breakfast (which was fresh from
Italy) and played a really complicated version of Uno (when a 9 is up you have to slap hands down, last one down has to take two cards, when a 1 is up, you have to connect thumbs up signs and the one on the top takes a card, when a 7 is up, you switch hands counterclockwise.) and
an Italian game and watched some movies. Then we went back to Zankl, at about 6pm, after Tati (Tatiana. 13, sluttish.) showed up. Played some foosball, stole a ball so we dont have to pay an euro every time, (we just put cardboard in the goals, then the ball goes in, but not down.) drank some sprite (Im the only one old enough to drink Alcohol, and really didnt want to.) got bored and went home. Tati is sleeping here tomorrow. She is avery odd girl. My host sister Eva says that she doesnt like her. But then Tati says she has the number of the younger, that Eva likes, and all of a sudden they are gossiping and giggling like lifemates. Its kinda sad, how much Eva wants the number.

Song break:

Mach die Augen zu und Küss mich.
Und dann sag das du mich liebst.
Ich weis genau, es ist nicht wahr.
Doch ich spüre keinen Unterschied, wenn du dich mir hingibst.

And for Linds, (And others?) the less romantic english version!
Roughly Translated by me personally!

Close your eyes and kiss me.
And then say that you love me
I know that its is not true,
but there is no difference if you give yourself to me.

Im thinking Im too lazy to translate the whole song.
Read it here if you want the whole damn thing. ^^Click Here. +)

I dont know what else to say, writing for the sake of writing gets boring it seems.
There is this cute boy in the class of my friends. I hang out there in the break. (Only one break, 15 minutes. So sad.)He talks to me, one day I was on the computer when he was beside me, (this was in my free block) and he was all "Wow, look how fast she types," and started imitating me, which, really, all he did was pound the keyboard. I actually articulate thought, for the most part. There is another boy in that class, he always talks to me too, but not cute. He is always "Hello! How are you,So, where exactly do you live? Do you need money? (This was when I was buying something at the canteen) "Good english.
Tomorrow I have two hours first thing of history. I dont like my history teacher. He asked me a question one dayconcerning History, like "What are your views on the downfall of the Roman empire" or some shit, cause he didntrealize I am an exchanger. Then he was all "oh, I didnt know" when everyone started laughing and saying "ya, she doesntknow much german".
I do, really, they just dont need to know that. Its not my fault that they dont have the patience to let me think about it.I can write better then I can speak though. Its that whole, afraid of saying it wrong because I usually do thing. But whatever.
I have to play Volleyball on the 6th of March in a school tournament.
Apparently Tati and Eva are going to Zankl tomorrow. I have 12 hours school (till 6pm) tomorrow, and then Volleyball after. It never seemed like a lot of time back home, being at school till 6. Here it is like, a life sentence.

So this is Alicia as the artist started painting her face. Her host sister Eva decided that it would be a good idea to take photo's all the way through. Then she got offered alcohol and forgot, so Alicia had to remind her. This is rather difficult, typing enough to span the size of the picture so the other picture gets enough space and whatnot. Layout making is tough work. Anyways, the whole painting took like... 20 minutes. In the future, when I cant think of information, I will be posting song lyrics. Just so you know in advance.

This is the artist that painted Alicia's face.
He also painted some pictures that are hanging up in Zankl, lyrics will be in another colour.

Mama was queen of the mambo

Papa was king of the Congo

Deep down in the jungle

I started bangin' my first bongo

Every monkey'd like to be

In my place instead of me

Cause I'm the king of bongo,

babyI'm the king of bongo bong

This is Patricia. She is 9 or something. Cute little kid. Likes to play cards and foosball. Thankfully not the annoying little 11 year old that wouldnt shut up about the boys that kept looking at me.

Like its really my fault that people look at me.

Im used to it.

I went to the big town

Where there is a lot of sound

From the jungle to the city

Looking for a bigger crown

So I play my boogie

For the people of big city

But they don't go crazy

When I'm bangin' in my boogie

This is (From left to right); Andy (Barkeep), Patrick (W.), Michelle (French name.), and Patrick (H).

I love this photo. Its like what we do back home. But there would be a lot more groping back home. Just cause. And probably more females. Even if one is dressed as a female. He gave kisses all night, always reapplying lipstick and kissing some poor sucker on the cheek, leaving a bright pink lip mark. Hehe.
Notice the blue stockings and dress falling 'up'. Pretty damn sexy right? Nah, but he was cool. Is cool, still, maybe.

This is Patrick and Patrick. In no particular order XD.

I dont know who these people are. Check out that chicks red eyes. Flippin creepy. XD

Bluntly Put...

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.

Im in a rocking disoriented mood.

In the way that I can remember exactly,

what Ive eaten, and how much Ive slept

since friday.

I can tell you that neither are very much.

It may be over but it won't stop there,

I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.

You changed my life and all my goals.

And love is blind and that I knew when,

My heart was blinded by you.

Its not that Ive been starving myself.

Or making myself stay awake.

just taking a bit of food or a drink of water,

sends my stomache stumbling.

I've kissed your lips and held your hand.

Shared your dreams and shared your bed.

I know you well, I know your smell.

I've been addicted to you.

And with the sleeping thing,

I didnt sleep at all Saturday,

Slept four and a half hours Sunday..

Slept I think 6 Monday,

And last night I woke up at 3am wide awake.

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me

It used to get like this when someone,

wasnt telling me something that they should.

I could always tell.

It always physically affected me somehow.

Its not always someone who is close to me either.

Just someone who feels connected to me.

I am a dreamer and when i wake,

You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.

And as you move on, remember me,

Remember us and all we used to be

My physics teacher (who is also,

my volleyball coach),

asked me to the front of the class today,

at the beginning of class,

and talked to me about volleyball.

Then he asked me a question during class,

that no one knew the answer to,

and because I didnt know it,

made me and the girls beside me who also didnt know,

go up to the board and do all the examples.

Bastard.

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.

I've watched you sleeping for a while.

I'd be the father of your child.

I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I told Katie a week ago,

that I needed a glass of water,

before I jumped into the pool.

It was a metaphor, and I thought

of it on the spot. That was boss.

I know your fears and you know mine.

We've had our doubts but now we're fine,

And I love you, I swear that's true.

I cannot live without you.

This is my 183 post. But Im deleting one,

so its my 182.

Because it double printed my last one.

I finally transferred to the google way of blogger.

If I have to do the "labels for this post"

Imma write "random teenaged babbling"

Thats all I ever do.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.

I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.

I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

-fin-

Double Argh With Knobs Austrian Style?

If I told you it happened again would you listen?
Would you believe me?
Have you ever fully believed me?

So, we had faschings.
That was a total blast.
Its like, the whole city dressing up and then getting drunk.

But if I hear:

Einen Stern der Deinen Namen trägt
Hoch am Himmelszelt
Den schenk ich Dir heut Nacht
Einen Stern der Deinen Namen trägt
Alle Zeiten überlebt Und über unsere
Liebe wacht

Or:

Aber eins kann mir keiner, (eins kann mir keiner) (2x)
eins kann mir keiner, (eins kann mir keiner)
eins kann mir keiner nehmen und das ist die pure Lust am Leben!

IMMA SHOOT SOMEONE.

Because they got drunk. Then they sang it in the street. Then they sang it to me. And then they started changing other lyrics to fit me, and sang them.

Oh, So, btw... WITHDRAWALS GONE. Heh.

I think I left my halo in the overhead compartment of the plane to Copenhagen.

So, I was gunna like.. give the whole detailed version, (but I think I will just give the overview )which I will write somewhere and let it eventually get put up here (because you all love hearing about my life...XD) and then the few people who read this can go 'Omg Alicia you did what?! You?! And he did what?!'

But lets not get into that right now. I dont have the energy to be that specific. (Plus, no one is online to vent at and consequently bring up more memories of the night by it.)

So:
Alicia met a boy at a bar.
The first way they ever communicated was him asking a stupid question and alicia giving the finger.
Later they played fussball. (Like, with a table and shit.) on the same team.
A little girl was there (11) and when he hugged Alicia because they won, she burst laughing.
Then informed alicia that 'OMG HE LIKES YOU'
I was never like this at 11. A hug is a hug.
Then Alicia was dancing with her host moms friend.
And he cut in.
Alicia cant dance these funny austrian dances.
But he made her dance with him anyways.
(I learned later that my host sister was like 'yeah, sure, she can dance' when he asked her.)
Thankfully the little girl wasnt there. She woulda been on my case the rest of the night.
Then a man in a purple latex suit (sometime later) (btw, like 40.. )walked into the bar and grabbed my boob.
I just took his hand off and kept walking.
My host mom wanted me and my host sister (13) to go home, because she wanted to go into the city.
I said I would take care of my sister and we stayed there for a bit.
(Sidenote: We had been hanging out with two guys (the one I danced with) and for like.. 4 or so hours and whatnot in the fussball room (seperate room from the bar area, quiet.. ) both are ... Well, lets say both are older then Aaron. Almost. One is the same age.) And anywho, after my host mom left we went to the older (kay. he's 21) guys house and grabbed bacardi and jim beans. then we walked to my house.)
Then after that we sat outside for a bit (at this point the younger was kissing my neck. Ha.) then my host mom came home. And we stayed outside cause we didnt want her to see us (still being kissed.) then she went to her room to go to bed and we went upstairs to mine. (sidenote: after like two hours at the bar, the younger kept saying 'Im sleeping at your house or you are sleeping at mine tonight' to me. XD)
So then I unlocked my door, cause I had locked it earlier when we got home cause I didnt want him snooping around in it. and then we went out on my deck, (more kissing), my host sister and the boys smoking, then being hugged cause it was cold (and a convienent way for him to get closer so he could grab my ass XD)
Then going inside, and yeah, more kissing and whatnot...
Then him asking me to go to bed... and his friend laughing.
Then it was like ... 4 in the morning, and I was bored of him kissing me.. (und weiter aber das 'is detailed.' )
So I asked my host sister (who had moved to the bed , as all of us sleeping on the floor would be stupid.) if she was tired and she said no, so I asked her if she wanted to play cards.

I know, Im probably one of the only girls in the world that complains of withdrawals, has a boy kissing up on her, and would rather play cards cause he bores her.
Im so cool.

So then he asks me (and Im going to remember this for a long time) (and sorry linds, I can only say it in german) 'Willst du es nicht?'
To which I replied 'Na'
And his friend burst out laughing.

Oh, shit, I forgot, before this he was like, laying on me, (Erm, I was sitting with my knee's up, and he was lying against them.) and his friend (who is really nice, adorable.. funny. cut a ketchup bottle in half cause nothing would come out... o.0) was looking at pictures (didnt tell us that) on his camera (I swear he just kept taking them damnit.) so then the younger wants it dark (cause the cell had a really strong light) and he is all like 'shut off your damn phone' and then they like, argue, cause one wants to continue kissing up on me, and the other wants to look at photos. So finally the first one asks 'What the deuce are you doing anyways' something along those lines and the older replies 'Im looking at photos of tonight' I was just like 'Oh shit, what all does he have on his phone' in my head.

Anywho, after I said no, he climbed into bed with my host sister and started trying shit with her.
He is 19. She is 13. Thats a little young.
But whatever.

the sad thing is that now she likes him. and I think she thinks he likes her.
I dont think she understands the ''your just a piece of young ass' concept.

And now she is also ''OMG WE GOTTA GO THERE NEXT WEEKEND'
Which, I have no problem with. But she went all... 'we can go this weekend and this weekend and this weekend....'

Little overdone.

SONG:

Skip town. slow down
Push it to the east coast
Step down turn around
Push it to the west
Need less, use less
We're asking for too much I guess
Cause all we get is...

Dead disco Dead funk Dead rock and roll
Remodel Everything has been done
La la la la la la la la la la

Tits out, pants down
Overnight to London
Touch down, look around
Everyone's the same
World wide, air tight
No one's got a face left to blame

Dont need more, its just the chorus over and over again.

If anyone can dfind me the lyrics of 'This is for you' by Velvet, I would be happy.