Little Susie Q

Yeah, Let's just stop that song
right there. Or else it will be stuck
in my head even more then it already
has been lately. And it shouldn't be,
because it isn't the most.... suitable.

The Kooks seem pretty good

so far. Accents = <3

Everyone knows that. Or at

least they should. It's damn

well common knowledge nowadays.

Blocking certain people leads

to interesting conversations.

I found that out last night, past two

before five. Somewheres around there.

It's good to be home.

But I have school tomorrow

I get to go to Drama. Yay!

And then I have to go talk to my

math teacher. No, I'z not failin'

or nufin.

I'm so glad I don't still live in

Kelowna. Suuuriously. A

normal conversation there

is all.... :

"Hey,"

"What the fuck, why'd you bump into me"

"Sorry, didn't mean to"
"Fucking fag"

"I'm not a fag you 'roid monkey"

*Fist fight*

They're all idiots.

So, I realized I hate stupid people.

People who have learning disabilities

I am completely fine with. People

who don't know any better, I am fine with.

people who know their

doing something completely wrong

but like... yeah.

Effin' morons.

They irk me.

Heaven in a Hottub

Well, not really. My cousin
made up the name, because
I was talking about last night
which was that night. Cause it
was all:

Alicia and Rob and Megan

in the hot tub. With the snow

falling, all, everywhere. And

The fog was not very far above.

It was beautiful.

Hung out at Christine's highschool

For two days. It was ...interesting.

Like Shane said, they're as close to

being characters in the O.c. as they

can. It's all... Over tired drama queens

demanding a boyfriend to come hug

them that they claim they hate

anways, and then feaux-fighting

with their "best friend" Who they backstab

on occasion anyways and then becoming

"best friends" again minutes later.

Oh, and that boyfriend? Yeah, he is dating

Basically everyone in that circle of friends.

Skeez.

Hung out with Shane at lunch once.

He was in the Theatre room.

Smart guy he is. Though their theatre

room sucks out loud. Like totally.

To clarify, Shane, Christine

Rob, and Megan are all my

cousins. Chris, Rob and Megan

are brothers and sisters.

Shane's sister is Candace,

she's pregnant right now.

So, um, Christine and I were

Talking, and we classified me.

Apparently I'm quite an oddity.

We woke up to the Jeep driver side

window smashed.Cops will come

sooner or later. Mom called them.

There is footsteps all the way

around the jeep. and leading up

to the garage, and then they

retraced their steps apparently.

I was roughly woken up this morning.
At about 5 30 - 6 am.
I don't have a clock in my room, so I
don't know the exact time.

I was woken up because my stepsister

started going into labour

so my mother and stepfather

had to drive across town

and pick her up from her house

then double back to the hospital

I stayed home. Not by choice.

Only because my mother told me what

was going on (me barely awake)

and left. Saying she'd be back.

Then I got a phone call at 8ish

The babies are born.

Yes, plural, she had twins

They're safe and all.

My mom is now phoning people to come

work for her and I.

I straightened my hair yesterday.

And took some pictures of random

things in my house. Like a suspended

angel.

Tia's suspended for ten days.

Tia being Cassi's cousin.

They (the teachers or whatever)

found her skipping and ripped

out of her mind. Ripped meaning

stoned.

My mom's alarm clock is going off

Has been going off for about 45 minutes now.

I'm not supposed to go into her room

and I enjoy having some noise in this house

that isn't caused by me.

because silence is deafening.

No one is online at 8 in the morning.

For shame.

Really, I thought someone would be

online, who that someone is

I've no idea. But at least someone.

I leave tonight for Kelowna.

Though the plans might have

changed because of the born

twins. Only time will tell what

my mother decides to do.

Capp teacher says the secret to life,

Is not to be happy,

But to be content.

Continuance of Thought

So, I'm thinking I'm going to keep this format
It suits my series of thoughts
quite well actually.
All, scattered like.

My CaPP Teacher seems to think

that I've opened many "doors"

in my life. For the future of course.

I guess the whole "Yeah, I know I'm

probably going to be working for no pay

(volunteer : doctors without borders) and I'm fine with it"

Yeah, that threw him off.

Went to Cassi's today. Played us some video games.

Ate us some Mr.Noodles.

Fought and fell over each other.

Life is always entertaining at her house.

Beware the troll.

Murray (Spermy the Wonder Boy)

Is at my house right now.

He works with my mother and I.

He's cool, like an annoying older brother.

Hokay, So.

I don't like you.

Really, I don't.

Apparently she thinks I do.

and thinks you know I do.

the past is a embellishing thing, no?

Well now, I need my writing skills back.

I need to read more. To write more.

To force myself back into the life I once lived.

The running joke now is that I'm easy.

Couldn't be farther from the truth.

Hence the reason it is sticking.

Don't really like it, but don't care enough

to change it.

Ever feel like your falling?

But you enjoy the feeling?

The dizzying offset of your equilibrium

The nauseous waves that follow.

Group conversations are increasingly

more popular on msn. A fad that we've joined

mayhaps?

Though the topics of conversation aren't

always the most entertaining

they seem to be interesting.

I called the one with the hair.

Otherwise known as Matt.

Only because I was listening to Butch Walker,

which reminded me of Matt.

Turns out the boy is expelled. And engaged to be married.

At 15. Time flys when you're missing a brain.

Cody needs to lay off the bolded capslock.

But the countdowns are fine.

I wonder how long it will take for Aaron to realize,

That both Cody and I are leaving the internet starting

Tomorrow and the next day.

I forgot my title.

I wrote this last night. Somehow that seemed more significant then writing it today.

Hokay, so, you know when someone can't seem to escape the depths of your mind; so you're eternally tortured with their image, their thoughts, their memory? And you know the only way to at least make the flooding thoughts not come at you so menacingly is to tell that someone. But you know, or "assume" that no good will come out of telling that someone those things when you've second guessed it so much you don't even know if the meaning behind the constant onslaught of imagery is what is stereotypically the meaning of them? You've denied all probabilty of "it" (whatever "it" actually turns out to be) ever happening for so long that it's in the back of your mind that the thoughts are constant only because you wish to spite yourself. That they're fake, and in all actuality you feel nothing towards that person.
What do you do when someone has consumed your reality? Taken over your mind without even knowing it? Dangling the control of your emotion over you; again with no knowledge. How do you deal with talking to them for hours but missing them soon after you part? What happens when your friends notice that there is more doodling in your notebooks then work?

What happens when an infatuation becomes an obsession?

Update?

They haven't talked in two days.

She woke up and he wasn't in the house.

She got ready to go to her superbowl party, he showed up.

She left, with a quick whispered goodbye to me.

He left. With no comment at all a half hour later.

So, now I'm alone again, in subdued warfare.