So much has happened.

-First off, my grandmother just won 10, 000 in a combination of bingo and the lottery.
-I got the top mark (second mark is %6 below me) in socials right now.
-I got %98 on my science test. Which is good. 'Cause it was on four chapters.
-I was accepted into the Rotary program. Which, unless I bomb the next interview, means I'm leaving the country for a year.
- No one seems to care about that last one, except Emma. She promises to take pictures for me, and I for her.
- It seems like my friends are slowly quitting choir. First Erin, then Jason. (I have more friends. Duh.)

Although Jason is starting to annoy me. It's like, we understand you're gay. It's your choice to tell everyone. But he's an attention getter. Yells in the halls about stuff most people would be embarrassed about. Over the top drama queen.

Meh, it's not like I'm going to try and change him. He is who he is.

Rich screwed up today. To everyone's enjoyment. Because Mrs. Sinclair pointed out that he says down with an "O" because he's british (you know, pronounciation, something about naturally long vowels" unlike us canadians.

So of course, the Alto's (I like the think of them as the ones that are more preverted, seeing as we crack the most jokes about perverted stuffs... Sasha included, although she converted to sopranoism.) were telling him to say down.

He was all... "I don't go down like you guys, I go down"... Think about that for a minute.

Made my day... Because yeah. Expressions are awesome.

Anywho, I have to go answer a whole bunch of science questions that are all... "OMG LYKE ANSWER ME"

p.s. Logan and Karlie broke up. I find that extremely amusing given the circumstances.

Liek OmG! Teh Bf!

Seriously now, if you can decipher the title, you spend too much time on the interwebs.

But! This time at least it relates to the contents of the post, or hopefully it will, 'cause in my mind that's what I wanna talk about, but it doesn't always work that way.

Don't you just love it when family members from...not near you are all

"So, how's your life, my you've grown, do you have a boyfriend yet?"

That pisses me off. Because I don't want a boyfriend. So, I say that. And they're all

"o.0 Lori (mom) what's wrong with your girl here? Is she sick or something"

Because of course, every girls mission in life is to find a boyfriend, get married and pro-create (note the sarcasm).

I mean, if I did want a boyfriend, I think I'd try a bit harder to get one, actually attempt and all that. But the truth is, I'd be a terrible girlfriend. Too busy to pay much attention to them at all. Wouldn't hang out much or anything. Which... just I don't know, doesn't seem... right? or fair? or whatever.

Plus the fact that the only guy that I'd consider dating... is all... Leaving soon and such...stupid near futures.

New topic

I'm going to the Hedley concert in November. Yay.

'Nother new topic

I'm also leaving this weekend for Kelowna... And a day or so in Vancouver... Visiting relatives.

'Nother new topic

My cousin (the one I'm going to see in Kelowna, well... one of 'em) got in a car accident night before last. The cops, ambulance, my uncle, and my cousin himself, don't know how he survived, or got out of the car for that matter. He went through a pothole which threw off the balance or whatever, went skidding through the road, hit and went through a fence, fell down a ten foot embankment, rolled the car.... Resulting in the roof being level with the dashboard. And no glass left. But no windows or anything for him to be able to get out of. Yet he got out, without a scratch. So my uncle bought him a new car the next day. >.<

'Nother new topic (Final one I think)

I dyed my hair again. It's no longer blonde. But I'm not telling the colour. You'll just have to find me and see for yourself. If that isn't an option, and you actually want to know, ask me.

Confession

So, I decided to write, not for you, but for myself.

Because I've been thinking about it lately, and a lot of my actions are geared towards you. Less then you'd think, but that isn't the point.

I haven't written anything comment worthy in a while. Although I don't care about comments unless extremely bored and feeling attention whorish.

My past posts (recently) have been crap. But I'm geared on changing that. They say that you can figure a lot out about a person by their writing style. That's probably why I prefer to type.

I like my privacy. But is there such a thing as being too private?

Maybe it's contagious and I've caught it.

If you look, you'll realize that I rarely type about something that's personal, which isn't fair to myself in a lot of ways. I get rid of the excess, and keep the emotion to myself, unless I'm angry, that always seems to escape. Rather selfish I guess.

No me drink
No me smoke
On your hate every day I choke
No me frown
No me smile
I guess emptiness is a style
No me kick
No me scream
In these lines, you read between
No me hurt
No me hate
Anger always comes to late.
No me strike
No me bite
Walk on lotus if I like
No me worry
No me wonder
In the midst of stress I'm under
No me lie
No me steal
Unenlightened sex appeal
No me drink
No me smoke
On your hate everyday I choke

I didn't write it. But back to the topic at hand.

I've decided to be open, or as open as I will allow myself to be. I refuse to fall into the "confused teenaged angst" category willingly.

I don't like to reveal my past

Why?

Well, I have a pretty good idea why, because it's painful.

I wasn't some spoiled princess that got everything she wanted, when she wanted it.

I was a:

Bully
Ballerina
Gymist
Model
Actor for commercials
Singer
Fighter
Survivor.

I got picked on and I fought back, ending up being the one that looked like a bully. I didn't understand that hitting was wrong at school when it wasn't at home.

Now, I never got hit, but my mother did.

He:

-Threw her out of a moving vehicle
- pushed her down the stairs
- punched her
-slapped her
- hurt her emotionally and verbally
- convinced her that she was the crazy one, and got her put in a psych ward
- injured her so she needed to go to the hospital

She became anorexic for him.

And I couldn't stop any of it.

So, in return, she came at him with butcher knives (threatening, never swinging) and a baseball bat. He wouldn't face her, so she broke his table (worth 2,500) and crumpled his antique 50's fridge.

I lived in a warzone. Somehow I thought it was normal. I was always bought the day after, with presants. Countless presants to say they were sorry, and re assure themselves that they could still buy my admiration, loyalty and love.

I've moved 16 times in 15 years, most of them were either running away or from him.

He's an addict now, and is dying in mexico.

I'm glad.

My life was threatened because of him. People were going to kill me and my mother to teach him a lesson.

I'm so glad he wasn't my biological father.

So, I've been fully honest. But it doesn't make me feel any better.

p.s. the reason I'm afraid of complete silence? Because that was always right before he came home from the bar, at 3am, to pick a fight, or she went to the hospital.

I still couldn't stop any of it.

for 12 years.

Strike.

So, tomorrow, 42,000 teachers will be picketing all over B.C.

Which is all the teachers in B.C.

Oh burn.

On "the man" . Which is the government.

Sucks for me too though. 'Cause I'll be working full time while this is happening... So, an extra 800 dollars or so for me, but I have to work.

And I'm thinking that I'm going to bring donuts or some other source of sugar to the teachers picketing, support them and all.

I got homework to do over the strike in socials and science. Which makes me happy, because at least it isn't Enlish, which I've been doing for at least two hours every night for the past 3 days.

But I should go and finish my chores, call up a friend, maybe go to the movies.

I didn't write it.

If one day you feel like crying…
Call me
I don’t promise to make you laugh…
But I’ll be there for you

If one day you want to run away…
Don’t be afraid to call me
I don’t promise ask you to stop
But I can run with you

If one day you don’t want to listen to anybody;
Call me and…
I promise to be very quiet.