So. more random babbling. Well, not really. This one has a topic, just no outline (do they ever?).
Rich is ever confusing. And sarah is being an immature prat. Whilst any little thing that Ashley does is annoying me. I understand why Rich is confusing. Its easy to see why. Plus the fact that I seem to get told everything. By everybody. Not necessarily about Rich. Getting off topic though, so shall go back. Sarah, complaining about everyone goofing off and not doing our skit as were supposed to. Thats understandable. But then she went and played Spy with Rocco behind the dumpsters and around the school. Cause thats helping our skit. (Notice the sarcasm). Then she has the nerve to go and write in her blog that the guys (the 3 r's....Rich, Ryan, Rouven) weren't doing anything. Which is what it looked like when ones sprawled on mats, another sitting on them, and the third doing handstand-flip-thingys. But it is possible to expel creativity whilst (love that word...heh.) fooling around. Like c'mon. Its an abusive father scene. Get over yourself. There isn't much more you can think of. Give them some credit sarah. Now to ashley. WHY MUST YOU BE SO ANNOYING. Sorry if this is going to hurt your feelings. But if you've forgotten, my grandfather passed 20 days ago. thats not a lot of healing time. So I really don't feel like answering all your questions about how I'm feeling. Be a little observant. notice the look on my face before you decide you want to play 20 questions. AM NOT IN THE MOOD. And yes, sometimes I am in the mood, contrary to what you think recently. But to be asked a bunch of questions that all mean the same thing but are just worded differently is really annoying. Give me some space. You might be my best bud, but we don't need to spend every waking moment together. Yes, I am busy on the weekends. I had a life before you came here. I'm not going to revolve my life around hanging out with you. I have sports, a gpa to maintain, pressure put on me to pick the right career, the right college. I also have chores. and I don't live as lavishly as you seem to think. My mom is a single parent. We don't have a large cash flow. So no, I won't be going to the mall with you on the weekends to buy stuff just cause I can. I have no need for it. And I could be doing productive things. Like my essays. for school. because I need to pass all of my courses to get into a good college. I am busy Saturday through thursday. I have one day after school when I am not doing anything. when I can be alone with my thoughts. So back off. I don't need the looks that say I've just broke your heart. You need to get to know your other friends too. whens the last time you hung out with michelle?
ARGH
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Hyped Up
I'm hyper. So anything I say might not make sense. Bear with me. This is going to be a blabbering fool of a post. Mhm.
What force and strength cannot get through, I with a gentle touch can do. And many in the street would stand, were I not a friendat hand. What am I?
a key
... ``follow me,'' the wise man said, but he walked behind...
Now what the hell is that supposed to mean? Will anyone tellme? I am lost in the metaphorical meanings if there are any,Its all blah to me. But I think its supposed to mean something. It entranced me for some reason... mhmm. I am so bored. Yup. That about covers it. Thats the only reason I am writing right now. And the factthat I found that qoute thing and wondered what it meant. But no oneever comments or talks to me on it so I just put it there for the hell of it I am beginning to realize. mhmm.
I know a song that gets on everbodys nerves, everybodys nerves, everybodys nerves....etc. Yes, I know that everybodys isn't spelt likethat but I don't really care. It works. You know what it means. And if you don't you shouldn't be reading my blog.
Lets try my luck at a poem...this is gunna go well
I can't think of a starting one. Oh well. I could turn off my music to concentrate but whats the use? I don't really feel like writing one. So I will post some of the stuff I've written but haven't put on here.
She
She sits underneath a moonlit sky,
Wondering what will come,
What has passed,
And what she has accomplished
She looks beneath her soul
To the deepest part of her core,
Searching for a past she cannot remember
Can the stars see her sadness?
Her wonder, her excitement
Or is she a lost soul
Upon the clouds
Of broken dreams.
To rant or not to rant… how bout I ramble?
Today it starts, the war begins, do we look onwards or confront our sins?
Press the government, collapse, intrude. But is it right, just cause we’re pursued?
To be pressured into laws, a way of life?
Conformity.
Engage in combat, fight to the death, in letters, words, symbols.
Not a single drop of blood shed, but these are the nastiest wars.
Backstabbing a friend, to get your message across,
Is this free speech? Or have they gone too far?
Then comes from the mouth of babes
Innocence, pure and simple
Do you think we will listen when history repeats once again?
Questions Without Answers
Transport me to the oceans cliffs where I can get lost in the rolling waves of water, consumed in insanity and thoroughly drained emotionally.
The oceans tides go with the moon, constantly changing, ever moving. Never a solitary life for water, it’s free, the only thing in this world that is. With the ever-changing way people view the world and its corruption, you have to ask yourself. What is truly free? What do I solely own? What is mine that no one else can ever have? Some might respond with a person, such and such is mine. But hearts wander, brains think and people change, like water, we are not flat; we are ever changing. Fluid movements can be portrayed as our personality. Some waters are choppy, so are some people. So, if nothing is ever truly ours, then what do we have to look forward to? To live for? To work towards? Where are the answers to the questions of the world? Does anyone really have all the answers? If they do, then have they lost who they truly are? Now, I could get into the questions as in “is there such a thing as truth” but I will save that for another time, another decade, another experience. Tonight I write my soul, my heart, and my thoughts.
What force and strength cannot get through, I with a gentle touch can do. And many in the street would stand, were I not a friendat hand. What am I?
a key
... ``follow me,'' the wise man said, but he walked behind...
Now what the hell is that supposed to mean? Will anyone tellme? I am lost in the metaphorical meanings if there are any,Its all blah to me. But I think its supposed to mean something. It entranced me for some reason... mhmm. I am so bored. Yup. That about covers it. Thats the only reason I am writing right now. And the factthat I found that qoute thing and wondered what it meant. But no oneever comments or talks to me on it so I just put it there for the hell of it I am beginning to realize. mhmm.
I know a song that gets on everbodys nerves, everybodys nerves, everybodys nerves....etc. Yes, I know that everybodys isn't spelt likethat but I don't really care. It works. You know what it means. And if you don't you shouldn't be reading my blog.
Lets try my luck at a poem...this is gunna go well
I can't think of a starting one. Oh well. I could turn off my music to concentrate but whats the use? I don't really feel like writing one. So I will post some of the stuff I've written but haven't put on here.
She
She sits underneath a moonlit sky,
Wondering what will come,
What has passed,
And what she has accomplished
She looks beneath her soul
To the deepest part of her core,
Searching for a past she cannot remember
Can the stars see her sadness?
Her wonder, her excitement
Or is she a lost soul
Upon the clouds
Of broken dreams.
To rant or not to rant… how bout I ramble?
Today it starts, the war begins, do we look onwards or confront our sins?
Press the government, collapse, intrude. But is it right, just cause we’re pursued?
To be pressured into laws, a way of life?
Conformity.
Engage in combat, fight to the death, in letters, words, symbols.
Not a single drop of blood shed, but these are the nastiest wars.
Backstabbing a friend, to get your message across,
Is this free speech? Or have they gone too far?
Then comes from the mouth of babes
Innocence, pure and simple
Do you think we will listen when history repeats once again?
Questions Without Answers
Transport me to the oceans cliffs where I can get lost in the rolling waves of water, consumed in insanity and thoroughly drained emotionally.
The oceans tides go with the moon, constantly changing, ever moving. Never a solitary life for water, it’s free, the only thing in this world that is. With the ever-changing way people view the world and its corruption, you have to ask yourself. What is truly free? What do I solely own? What is mine that no one else can ever have? Some might respond with a person, such and such is mine. But hearts wander, brains think and people change, like water, we are not flat; we are ever changing. Fluid movements can be portrayed as our personality. Some waters are choppy, so are some people. So, if nothing is ever truly ours, then what do we have to look forward to? To live for? To work towards? Where are the answers to the questions of the world? Does anyone really have all the answers? If they do, then have they lost who they truly are? Now, I could get into the questions as in “is there such a thing as truth” but I will save that for another time, another decade, another experience. Tonight I write my soul, my heart, and my thoughts.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Heheh. Poor little hobbit
So, even though I don't enjoy the movies all that much and found the book extremely dull I still use the term 'hobbit'. Why? you may ask, but the answer is simple. Ashley, is a hobbit. I swear shes 4 feet. But she says shes 5. Whats a foot to me eh? So either way, shes inbetween. And the 'poor little' is cause she always mentions me in my blog and how I am o so talented. So I must show off my skills. To keep up with the publicity of course. So. I will attempt at poetry, although not quite in the right head space.
Quiet
A distilled silence
Peace
An obtainable object of need
For if there is no peace, there is no silence
And without silence, the world is insanity
Though insanity isn't bad
It isn't for the weak of mind
See, like I said. Not in the right headspace. But it shall do. And i can work on it later.
Quiet
A distilled silence
Peace
An obtainable object of need
For if there is no peace, there is no silence
And without silence, the world is insanity
Though insanity isn't bad
It isn't for the weak of mind
See, like I said. Not in the right headspace. But it shall do. And i can work on it later.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Alright. I've realized
Mhmm. I've realized. what you may ask? That I'm a idiot thats all. I don't know how to control my life, I haven't been writing in my blog lately (which relieves stress majorly) and there is just too much stuff going on lately.
My grandfather died on friday. April 1st. Which is april fools day. What a perfect way to go for him. I betcha he would of picked that day if it was up to him. but I've decided to do what I know I'm not supposed to. I'm going to forget it happened. Pretend nothing is wrong. Corrupt my psyche. Push all emotions into oblivion. And eventually have another emotional breakdown. Yes, if you noticed, I said another. As in I've already had one. I was about 11. No person should have to go through one of them. Its horrid. My mom didn't know what to do. They thought I should go to the hospital for counselling. Cause the people at the hospital have good pills. Well at least thats my input. But I didn't go to the hospital. I didn't want to. And wouldn't let her take me. I'd rather suffer the emotional disfunctionalness at home, in my room, curled up in a ball staring at the ceiling, fuming silently. But that isn't even close to an emotional break down.
anyway. A new topic. Because I don't want to talk about my emotions. well there really isn't much to say. Other then the normal confusabilities of humans (as usual) and the pope dying.
Oh. We helped people in need if thats of any importance. Some guy locked his keys in his car and was late for work so we gave him a ride and then on our way to my moms work some girl had a flat tire and was late to picking up her kids from karate, so we drove her to the karate place, picked up her kids, and drove her home. With the kids of course. Which by the way were 2 little eleven year old boys. Obnoxious. Hyper. Not at all tired out from karate, little boys. Scary little beings you are. I can remember being in grade six. It wasn't all that long ago. And the guys I hung out with were nothing like that. Then again these boys were better raised then my friends. Oh how I miss them. Even cody, suffice to say. Stupid little ingrate. but still a source of amusement. Well I must go. Because I am tired of writing. and don't want to save this as a draft.
My grandfather died on friday. April 1st. Which is april fools day. What a perfect way to go for him. I betcha he would of picked that day if it was up to him. but I've decided to do what I know I'm not supposed to. I'm going to forget it happened. Pretend nothing is wrong. Corrupt my psyche. Push all emotions into oblivion. And eventually have another emotional breakdown. Yes, if you noticed, I said another. As in I've already had one. I was about 11. No person should have to go through one of them. Its horrid. My mom didn't know what to do. They thought I should go to the hospital for counselling. Cause the people at the hospital have good pills. Well at least thats my input. But I didn't go to the hospital. I didn't want to. And wouldn't let her take me. I'd rather suffer the emotional disfunctionalness at home, in my room, curled up in a ball staring at the ceiling, fuming silently. But that isn't even close to an emotional break down.
anyway. A new topic. Because I don't want to talk about my emotions. well there really isn't much to say. Other then the normal confusabilities of humans (as usual) and the pope dying.
Oh. We helped people in need if thats of any importance. Some guy locked his keys in his car and was late for work so we gave him a ride and then on our way to my moms work some girl had a flat tire and was late to picking up her kids from karate, so we drove her to the karate place, picked up her kids, and drove her home. With the kids of course. Which by the way were 2 little eleven year old boys. Obnoxious. Hyper. Not at all tired out from karate, little boys. Scary little beings you are. I can remember being in grade six. It wasn't all that long ago. And the guys I hung out with were nothing like that. Then again these boys were better raised then my friends. Oh how I miss them. Even cody, suffice to say. Stupid little ingrate. but still a source of amusement. Well I must go. Because I am tired of writing. and don't want to save this as a draft.
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