I need to talk to someone.
Right now.
And it really really sucks.

I feel... betrayed, jealous ... hurt.

I don't like it at all and I don't know how to deal with it. The thing is, I can't help but notice that it's my fault I feel this way, and if for one moment I hadn't been myself, this wouldn't of happened. I wouldn't of given them the glimpse into my life, or the opportunity to take it and twist it into theirs. Makes it hard to believe that they have no idea that they're doing this do me doesn't it.

And of course I can't talk to anybody about it without being judged or whatnot. Which feels kinda crappy, knowing that everyone's going to judge you about your view of what's happening right now. The only person that I'd possibly talk to because they already know a bit of the situation, a very crucial part, hasn't been around lately.

Of course I'd love to be blunt about it, but I don't want to hurt anybodies feelings, because no one has done anything wrong. That's the kicker, there's no good reason to feel so isolated, alone and forgotten, which makes me wonder why I do so strongly.

I miss you

but you is not you anymore

it's the old me.

the one that didn't know you

or care who you were.

Regretting regretting you.

Questions with unspoken answers

Acceptance before denial

Surrender before the fight

Silent objection,

Silent confrontation,

Silent result.

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Ever get the urge to do something, and it has to be done that moment, because if you don't, even though it probably won't, if feels like your life won't be the same? something will change and/or dissapear? And if in turn you fight the urge, and don't it feels as though you've lost completely? It's like an ongoing battle with yourself, and all you can find to back you up is the white flag.