Ceara, I, and Our Combined Awesome.

Ceara: youre hot sex?

Me: Every day? In the church courtyard? Under the burning cross? WIth our love on fire? I still have to write you a dirty poem.

Ceara: yes after sex i want no more love of you i hope it turns to ashes and i accidentally delete you from my friends page

Me: Isnt it that way with every realationship?
Sex then poof, like the pheonix, ashes!

So, I'll write you a poem, because I promised you one.
I'll accept no demands, my mission is one. (Cum, darling, Cum.)
Your voice is a clarinet, with a strong reedy blow,
And underlying promises, of what lay below. (Oh below, oh below)
I fear I must end this, As not many things rhyme,
But I'll find the underwear you lost, in time (In time, in time)

Ceara: you write songs ill play the demos and well sell them dealio?

Alicia: you think Im good enough to write songs?Can I sing? Or we can both sing!
Yes. that will work

.I'll write you a song
I know it'll be all wrong
But it'll come from the heart
And thats a start

The lyrics will be easy
Quite lewd and sleasy
But we get along
Yes, we get along

(chorus)
And I'll write you a tune
That you can take to the moon
In your little, yellow, spaceship
And we'll sing and we'll play
And we'll touch the day away
In your little, yellow, spaceship

You'll look towards the back
While I stare at your rack
And ponder the days gone by
As I fly, higher then high.

chorus

Ceara:sadly, i hummed along to that

Alicia: Sadly?

and how the humming went, say you?
I'll keep writing if it pleases you.
This rhyming thing, its a disease
It'll have me yet, on my knee's
With a gag in my mouth, begging it to stop
While three witches sit silently, stirring the pot.

Ceara: it went dadadadadadadadadadadadadada see?
perfect
and i used to love rhyming
youre inspiring

Alicia:
Inspiring, though I screwed up the last bit.
But alas, a tit for tat and a tit for tit? (:P)
I'll have to stow these away,
And we can look back on them someday
Though I do believe you own me one
You know, for making you cum.
A poem for a poem, A brief, for a brief?
Mixing languages is quite... unbequeath.
I dont know if thats a word, but I will say it is so
The first one to challenge me? My mortal foe.

Tada.

Magnetism?

It seems to be, when I really need someone, or even just want them a tad more then just casually, they show up. Now, I dont mean romantically. I mean like a burning need to talk to them, even if they're just a friend. Its happened before, lots, with Cody, as most people know. It happens at school all the time too, as soon as I get it into my head that I need to talk to someone, they show up.
So I wonder, will it work tonight?
Somehow I dont trust it when it comes to him.
So, Im going to take action, I know, me, taking action, big suprise.
When I call, hopefully he'll answer.
But I dont know what I want to say, I just know that I need to say it.
Need to say it desperately.
So much that its making my chest feel like someone's sitting on it, and my head feel like there isnt enough oxygen.
I dont understand how he does this to me.
Its never happened before.
The only emotion I can compare this with is like a dreaded fear.
How can you fear calling someone?
I think its more the fear of what they'll say.
But, if you stay on safe topics, how is that an issue?
I fear that I need to talk about an unsafe topic.
A topic so dangerous that the issue itself hangs from a glass thread.
The slightest wind, will smash it.
How is this possible?
Why do I feel this way?
Will the phone call, as I hope, make the feeling go away?
What about the other possibility? What if it gets worse?

Some Random Bits O' Poetry

Basically, things I've found randomly, on looseleaf, that I sorta remember writing.

Petting pawing

Biting Clawing

Smooth Rough

Obsession

Alluring Tempting

Law Abiding

Citizen Involving

Addictive

Always Revolving

Never Stopping

Turning Tumbling

Passionate

You wanted to be with me
I wanted to be alone
You asked how you could be near me
And I pointed to the phone
You seem to have no chance
To you it isnt clear
I'll always choose another
Never shedding a tear

Just once more

Tell me once more how it goes

'cause I cant remember anymore

But I know

Everythings been left behind

We arent feeling anything

So just once more

Tell me how it used to go

How we used to live

How we felt

Because we arent feeling anymore

See this?
Yeah, this here is me
Written in ink
First draft

Oh, if my english teachers saw this
I wonder if they know

If they know how many half baked,

Half concious

Penned first drafts they recieved

They gave A's too.

If they only knew.

They say things in languages only they understand

Convey emotion and set themselves up

Hide their vulnerability in their strength

In their wit and classic charm

Realizing only afterwards the fools they made themselves

But everyone has 20/20 hindsight
Everyone see's what they *should* have done.

Half finished poems

trailing off in thought

a not-quite-finished masterpiece

not well drawn out

just spiralling down

making less and less sense

as the stanza's grow

an undefined concept

perpetual confusion...

Transfixed

A hand reaches toward the flame

reaches toward the scorching heat

unaware of the consequences

of the blistering pain attached

to such a hypnotizing beauty

The flame dances playfully
and licks the hand invitingly

giving the warmth without the sting

tempting the hand to go further

convincing it that it hasnt,

found the real treasure

and almost there,

the hand begins to feel the pain

awakened to a new sensation

too horrified to pull away

having successfully surrendered

its power and free will

to the uncontrollable majesty

of fire.

Tada, So they arent all poems I guess. Unless you're very forgiving of half baked free verse. Comment?

Lawls. Thinking Makes Me Think

So, We're all talking online. And I wrote this for me, essentially, then it branched, and now hopefully you'll read it and its for you too.

So here goes:

I guess I of all people
should know how I feel
should know how I want things
to go, to turn out
but, I bet you know better,
then I do,
I bet most people do

Bets are dangerous things
we already figured this out
But it was a learning experience
I found out how detatched I could make myself
How distant and un-needing
You found out how weak your efforts were,
and that not everyone gave you what you wanted on a silver platter,
no matter how deviously you attempted to obtain it.

You say we mesh well, that we've got chemistry
you actually state these things as fact.
Thats a difference between us
You know it to be truth, and I'm scared to voice the same opinion,
even after constantly wondering why I felt, feel, so comfortable with you.

I am a walking contradiction
Linds would most likely call me a
"teenaged girl with the mind of a hormonally driven teenage boy"
at this point....

I'll explain why.

Its like, in my head, I could take him or leave him.
I rejected him at the last party, but I dont know if he remembers
I'm fickle, things seem to have to be my way, or else... well, Im not
interested. He kissed me and I didnt kiss back, which is both cruel
and unexplainable. But it didnt feel right, so I didnt "respond"

Other times, Im tickling and poking him, till no end, either
because Im bored or just want attention.
Which, I have no problems with admitting that sometimes
I need a lot of attention to satisfy me, actually, it happens often
Though, quiet-alone time is necessary as well.
Back to the boy though...

Im indecisive, I like being around him, and feel comfortable,
but still dont trust him completely.
But then, what 17 year old,
female especially, doesnt have trust issues?
With all the shit with date-rape drugs and all this other
nasty stuff, how can you be totally trusting?

Not that I think he'd do that in any way shape or form.
He's actually rather ....gentlemanly?
I mean, we've kissed, but he hasnt tried to force me to do more
after I told him "too fast" in like, October.
lawls.

Katie knows the stories, she cares about me,
which is awesome.
because although I have my fair share of friends, not all of them are true.

She say's he's trying really hard by the sounds of it, and she even knows about the
"You're a girl and Im a boy" comment.

She wonders (aloud) if I'll ever give in, just let go and feel sorta thing.
She says I think too much that I need to just .. "release"

I think she was trying to be deep.
Or full of wisdom.
But, then again, she also says that he's the girl in the relationship.

He tells me that he misses me almost everytime we talk
I've tried sayin it, it doesnt work, I just sputter,
and switch the topic.

And I do miss him, I know that.
And I can say that, to other people,
just not to him.

I think its a power thing.
I hate the feeling that any one person other then my mother
could have power of any sort over me, and by saying that I miss him,
Im giving him power, showing vulnerability.

Not going to happen anytime soon, but Im working on it.
I promise.

I hope I've made sense through all this.
I know how sometimes I go off on a tangent and get all....
Well, no one understands but me.
Though I think its perfectly clear.
I forget sometimes, that not everyone can see into my head,
and understand how my thought processes work.


-Comment?

Leasha