Complete Honesty?

Honesty is like, a major weasel word.

"Sure, Im so being honest"....

I dont know how its a weasel word but Im going to obtain "Complete Honesty" in a minute.

I like him.
But I like him too.
And I dont know how much I like either of them.
But my heart hurts for it.
This is suffering.
Of a typical-girl-wants-her-cake-and-eat-it-to thing.
I mean, I cant have both of them.
And honestly, that would not make me happy either.

This would be so easy if I wasnt dating one of them.
Especially one I havent seen in three months.
Who was my first.
With his adorable baby face that makes me completely content,
From what I can remember.

But is it time to move on?
Does he deserve such an uncerimonious dumping,
after driving 17 odd hours to see me,
To move home,
In part, because of me?

No one deserves such heart break..

In this supposed triangle, (More like < with me at its point) I believe that either way? Someone is not going to be happy. But, because of me physically and conciously making someone unhappy? That is going to make me unhappy.

This is a lose-lose-lose situation.

And I just want him to fucking kiss me already.
But that would be cheating, and I wont do that.