Turmoil.

I am:
Frustrated, `cause I can tell it's real.
Mad, `cause I don't know how you feel.
Upset, `cause we can't make it right.
Sad, `cause I need you day and night. (Questionable.)
Angry, `cause you won't take my hand. (Distance makes this difficult.)
Aggravated, `cause you don't understand.
Dissapointed, 'cause we can't be together. But still?
I will love you forever.


When I first saw you, I was afraid to meet you.
When I first met you, I was afraid to kiss you.
When I first kissed you, I was afraid to love you.
But now that I love you, I'm afraid I've lost you.

We broke up again. How repetitive. This is the third time now?
I didnt think you flip-flopped this much, Richard.
But apparently, your heart is not at all connected to your actions.
Part of me thinks "There's no way he could conciously do this to me, again"
But then I think back to that time where you said the only way to get rid of Skyleen was to make her break up with you.
Is that what you're doing?
Fucking up on purpose so I get fed up and leave?
But it's never me that does the leaving, is it?
It's always you that gives up.
For once, I wish someone thought I was worth fighting for, you know?
But, you've proved that Im not.

You know, I've been told that "I'm so chill" and calm. That Im "low maintenance".
I thought that was a good thing.

You said you needed to get shit figured out. That's why you were out there to begin with.
But deary? That's why you left.
I realized you hadn't changed shortly after you mentioned that you were.
But I figured, "Hey, if he hasn't realized it, maybe he will change".
But you've realized it, which means that we have to change. To fit your needs. Again.
Like you said, you're no better then when you were here. You're still allergic to the phone.
You might be in love with me, like you so often proclaim, but you dont give a shit about me, do you?

It was said to me by someone close that we wouldnt have been together again if you hadn't of left. And sorry to doubt you dear, but I believe them to be right.
Of course this realization was stinging and delivered on my birthday, but the suffering continues, right?

And, to quote you "Fine, fuck it. Misery on both ends". But who's to say that that is in fact true? Would it not be more accurate to say "Fine, Misery on your end, relief on mine?" You were the one to express your want to be single, not I.

And as a parting jab? I was willing to fight for you. I did fight for you, consistently. Even when every one of your so-called friends told me you weren't worth it.